


Five Times the Master Haunted the Doctor and the One Time He Was Glad to Know Him

by littlewonder



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Begging, Flashbacks, Love Confessions, M/M, Power Dynamics, Power Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 05:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: What it says on the tin.





	Five Times the Master Haunted the Doctor and the One Time He Was Glad to Know Him

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted to [LJ](https://littlewonder2.livejournal.com/41294.html)

1.

The Doctor could never get over what the Master did to him for that first year, the year that the Master had control over the Earth, and everything that had meant for the human race... Martha was still out there, still fighting, but meanwhile here he was, under the Master, suffering his... perversions.

"Please," begged the Doctor.

"That's right, beg. Beg me for it, Doctor..."

He still was young, in this young body, and yet it was for this. It might almost be worth it... to learn his secrets.

"Please, Master," complied the Doctor. "Give it to me."

The Master thrust enthusiastically into the Doctor. "I'm your Master," he preened. "Say it!"

"You're my Master..."

"Oh, Doctor..." groaned the Master. "Doctor!" he cried as he came.

Over and over again this happened to the Doctor. One month led into the next, as he had his way with the Doctor, and the Doctor was starting to lose his ability to withstand what was happening to him. But month by month, fuck by fuck, his mask was slipping.

"I know what you really want," groaned the Master one night, "it's why you let me rape you every night, when they're not looking… So I'll tell you Doctor, what they really are… If you'll tell me something, the only thing… that really matters. This has stopped being rape a long time ago, hasn't it, Doctor? You love me, don't you?"

"No --"

The Master stopped immediately, tugging on his neck so that their faces were brought right up next to each other. "Don't lie to me Doctor…"

His huge wet eyes looked back into the Master's eyes in despair. "Please."

"No! Not until you tell me the truth!" cried the Master furiously.

"I… love you," said the Doctor, shocked and utterly horrified to find that it was true. A flash of Rose appeared in his mind. They had shared a sort of unspoken love. But his love of the Master… was so much older, darker, madder… so much truer. So much like life itself, and just as big. "I love you," he repeated, more sure of himself. "Gallifrey help me."

"There's only me," said the Master, pushing in one last time, "no Gallifrey here," he said as he came, eliciting cries from both men.

The only thing worse than that revelation, the Doctor thought then, was what the Master was really doing. But looking back on it now, it wasn't worse than how the Doctor came to feel about the Master, nothing was or ever could be. At least those plans could be erased.

"Not tonight."

"What do you mean, not tonight?" said the Doctor, his body now so used to the contact that it hurt to even consider not touching the Master. "I just confessed to you last night --"

"Exactly," teased the Master. "I am married, you know."

"Didn't stop you before. You're the Master, you could never let morality inhibit you. I've been around in time and space with you --"

"You're right," said the Master. "If I were honest, I had my own ulterior motives in fucking you. I needed to know that I had you completely under my control this time. You have stopped my plans too many times to count. You won't this time --"

"Why should loving you stop me from fighting back?"

"Maybe it won't," said the Master. "The fact that there's nothing you can do to me, the fact that I own you now, will. You are mine, Doctor. Too bad for you that I'm not yours. I will never be yours."

Looking back on it now, the whole year, even that particular memory brought tears to his eyes. Because, holding the Master in his arms now as he died, he knew the Master was right. The Doctor loved the Master, but it was never returned. It never could be.

2.

"It burns," sobbed Rose.

_The Doctor stepped forward, all blonde, young and handsome. The Master stood before him alone in that forest, both men newly regenerated and lost on Castrovalva. The Master stared determinedly back at him, strangely confident for a man half-naked, his clothes torn away by the Castrovalvans._

_“How did you get back to your TARDIS?” asked the Doctor._

_“How did you lose your companions?”_

_"What have you done, Master? From Logopolis right up till now… You know I have to punish you for all this."_

_The Master smirked. “I would expect nothing less from you, Doctor.”_

_The next thing the Doctor could remember, he was stripping the Master down, exposed skin glowing pink, and the Doctor was so grateful to be rid of them._

"I think you need a doctor," said Nine, stepping forward and kissing Rose.

Nine's body began to glow as the heart of the TARDIS began burning him from the inside out. He started babbling, the usual romantic rubbish, but all he could think of was the heat, and he got strange flashes of that day with the Master on that Castrovalva, that day of the Master's worst crime; the day the Master had almost destroyed the universe on Logopolis.

And then the Doctor had done the worst thing possible.

_"You know that this is the reason I keep coming back to you, Doctor," said the Master. "Why I keep doing this. Why I'm always so bad for you. I always knew you would find your own way here, alive. I want you mine."_

_But the Doctor, deep in the throes of his own libido, knew this. "Damn you."_

_The Master, even while on all fours, exposed like this, was still in control, and the Doctor knew it. "Yes, Doctor."_

The Doctor had done so much with the Master that he still hadn't done with Rose -- yet. As he emerged as Ten, still in Nine's clothes, he kept babbling and Rose kept staring. And then she closed the gap between their mouths, and before the Doctor could even process what was happening, they found themselves deeper into the TARDIS, inside a bedroom with Rose underneath him, begging for him.

So he took her. And as she sank into the bedsheets, the Doctor started to really get to know Rose for the first time.

"Yes, Doctor!"

_"Yes, Doctor," groaned the Master. Finally, the Doctor hit that sweet spot and they both came with a cry._

3.

Sometimes the Doctor would wonder why he couldn't figure it out in time.

Most of the time though, he'd just wonder why he couldn't have said, "Okay, so get this: the Master's still alive, but he's hiding out at the end of time and space as a professor named Yana."

_"You are not alone," said the Face of Boe. "The man you love is waiting for you at the end of time and space. Yana."_

_Jack would've done it, he was sure. If only the TARDIS could travel along his personal timeline, the Doctor would somehow prevent it all from happening. God, it kept him in torment sometimes, just looking back on it. The Master..._

_"Man I love? What are you…?" The memories came back to him, of so many lives pitted against the Master, Time Lord versus Time Lord, when right from the start neither of them had ever really hated each other._

_There was love there, once. So many lifetimes ago. "The Master… the Master is waiting for me at the end of time and space?"_

_But it was too late. The Face of Boe had wasted no time in telling the Doctor what was coming. Yana, with his last breath, the only part of any of it that was completely obscure. Yana, what did it mean? He didn't think Boe was babbling, Boe didn't babble. Well -- he didn't babble a lot. Well -- not when it mattered. Well -- not with this._

_When he had gotten to the end of time and space, he had only looked at Martha and grinned stupidly. But as soon as he saw Yana, he knew. He shook his hand. "Yana, is it? That's your actual name?"_

_"What's wrong with my name?"_

_"Nothing, oh -- nothing," said the Doctor. "And you're… what? Human?"_

_"Most of us here are," he confirmed._

_"And that would include you?"_

_"Yes, of course."_

_"Can I ask you something? Do you have an old watch with a pattern of cogs on the front?"_

_Yana pulled it out. "Why, yes. It's an old thing, it barely even works, but I've always had it…"_

_"Can I borrow it?"_

_"Yes, of course."_

If only it were true.

But wait. All the Doctor would need to do would be track down Jack at Torchwood and change the future.

The Doctor dematerialised at Torchwood. A grin appeared on his face the moment he stepped out, when he saw Jack. He wasn't taking the chance that Jack might long forget his message; he arrived thousands of years into the future. He had found the point when Jack almost ceased to be himself… when he was so changed by all his years of life that soon he would be forced to become the Face of Boe.

Jack smiled back at him, not a line older on his face, but so much older than he'd ever been. "Hey, Doctor, I haven't seen you in a thousand years! Finally come to check out Torchwood?"

"Still open, eh? I suppose I could take a look around…"

"If you could call it that," answered Jack. "Not really sure how much longer it can still operate. It's seen better days."

"Yeah, I'm sure." So he allowed Jack to take him on the obligatory tour of Torchwood. "I actually came here to talk about events…"

"Not my events, are they, Doctor? Because you know I can't talk about that."

"Not too much…" said the Doctor. "I actually came here to talk about the Master."

"The Master," said Jack. "What, is he back?"

"No, he isn't…" the Doctor frowned. "I've just… been thinking a lot about his death," said the Doctor, raising his eyes back up to Jack's face. "You were there, you know what he did, you know why I had to stop him. But I hate that he had to die, and I keep thinking…"

"Come on, it was for the best," said Jack. "You can't possibly regret --"

The Doctor snapped his eyes at him. "Do you really believe that? Would you be so willing to condemn that man --"

"It's like you said, Doctor, I was there. I know what he can do."

"Is that any reason, is that an excuse to just --"

"Oh god. You're in love with him, aren't you?"

The Doctor's face darkened a shade. "Sometime in the future you warned me of him, but I didn't understand," said the Doctor, ignoring the question. "If you had really told me what you meant, I'd have figured it out so much sooner. Time was in flux then, you could have explained, even if I didn't want to listen. I could've saved him."

_The Doctor had every intention to bury it, but fate would not allow him to. After he'd sent off the rocket, the Doctor took him into the TARDIS to save his life. But the watch fell out of his pocket while the Doctor manoeuvred around the controls to send them back to the present, and Yana picked it up._

_"Yana?" the Doctor asked, as soon as he'd sent to TARDIS off to his co-ordinates, only now noticing his silence. "Are you alright?"_

_The old professor was holding the watch, mesmerised, and before the Doctor could get to it…_

_"NO!" cried the Doctor, running forward, but it was far too late, as the watch was opened, and all of the Master's essence swam into Yana's body, and now it was those evil, haunting eyes that stared back out at the Doctor._

_He stood in shock for a moment, staring back at the Master, before the Master attacked the Doctor, catching him off-guard and sending him to the floor. The Master took advantage of the situation to grab that old hand from the Doctor and absorbing his own Huon energy into himself to regenerate._

_The man became thinner, younger, blonder. He had a barely shaven face and those same evil eyes, and now the Doctor was standing watching him in horror._

_"Oh god," said Martha, "I know him. That's Saxon, the leader of Britain."_

"Me? I did?" said Jack. "Well, that doesn't sound like me. You know me, I shoot straight --"

"It was you. But it's still billions of years away. Something must've changed in you by then."

"Wow. I live that long, do I? I guess there's just no stopping me then. Why couldn't you have just asked?" The Doctor stared. "Fine, then," said Jack. "I promise."

Suddenly, sirens started blaring throughout Torchwood, and Jack immediately set off running. The Doctor followed him down the halls. Luckily, they were now only blocks away from the TARDIS.

"What's going on?"

"It's the TARDIS, sir. It's dematerialising --"

"What?" cried the Doctor. He broke ahead of Jack, who yelled out in protest and started chasing after him.

"Doctor!"

"Don't try to stop me, Jack --"

"Why would I try to stop you? Just remember to hold on to the TARDIS if he tries to take off without you!"

The Doctor grinned, accepting Jack's advice and running for his life. As he caught the TARDIS, the Doctor instantly threw open the door.

_"Jack, Martha," said the Doctor, eyes completely fixed on Saxon, the Master. "Here's what I need you to do, I need you --"_

_"No," said the Master, "here's what I need you to do. I need you to leave the TARDIS, it should've landed by now. And if you don't… well, let's just say it won't end well for anyone here."_

_"Yeah, right," said Jack. "We're staying right here."_

_"No --" said the Doctor to the Master. "Don't leave. I only just met you. You and me, Master, we're the only ones left. The last of the Time Lords. Please, just stay."_

_"Doctor!" said Martha._

_"No, Martha," said the Doctor. "He belongs with me, he's my responsibility. He can't ever leave this TARDIS."_

_"Leave it to me," said Jack, jumping into action. He leapt at the controls, locking the door before the Master attacked him. It took the combined efforts of all three of them to take him down. They locked him deep within the TARDIS before dropping Jack off on earth. "Come and see me at Torchwood sometime, Doctor."_

_"Yeah," said the Doctor. "After all these years… why not?"_

_When Martha left, he came back to the Master. "Martha's gone," he said. "All of space and time, where do you want to go?"_

_"Gallifrey."_

_"You know that's not possible."_

_"Come on, Doctor, don't act like you're not glad to see me."_

_Finally, the Doctor smiled. "I am."_

_"I know you are."_

_"Do you love me?" asked the Doctor finally._

_The Master took his time in answering, only searching the Doctor, and finally trailing his gaze to his body. "Would I really be me if I gave you a straight answer?" he said. "I don't take risks."_

_"Love is a risk."_

_"Love isn't a risk that we take," said the Master. Then he thrust towards the Doctor. "But this…" he moaned. "This is the only thing I want penetrating me."_

_The Doctor lay a wasted mess into the Master's shoulder. "There's nothing like a good fuck to welcome me back into oblivion…"_

The Master stood there. "Aren't you going to welcome me back?"

"This is the last time," said the Doctor, as he disappeared into the TARDIS.

4.

"Jenny! How are you here?" cried the Doctor, running up to her the instant he saw the daughter he had once been forced to abandon, thinking she was shot, thinking she was dead…

"I met a Time Lord."

The Doctor stopped. "What?"

_He came in a familiar blue box._

_He grinned at her. "Another Time Lord," he said. "And here, the Doctor had led me to believe that he was the only one…"_

_"The Doctor…?" said Jenny. "He's my father…"_

_"Your father, eh? What nasty things has the Doctor been doing --"_

_"Nothing like that," said Jenny. "It was a DNA reprogrammer. The people of my planet took his DNA and created me."_

_"Now, why did I never think of that?" he grinned. "Brilliant! But our race… it's dying. It's just me, and your father. You're the first female Time Lord I've seen in far too long! Maybe there is a chance for the future of our species, after all… You must be a true Time Lord…"_

_"Are you saying…? You want to…?"_

_"Why not?" asked the stranger. "If it's what we must do…"_

“Okay, stop,” said the Doctor. “I’ve heard enough.”

His daughter looked at him. “Come on,” she said. “The way you talked about the Time Lords… don’t you want them to come back?”

“No,” said the Doctor, “no, they can’t ever come back.”

“Why not?” she said.

“Not by his hand.”

“Why? Who is he?”

The Doctor took a gasping breath. “The Master.”

“Right,” said Jenny. “Well, I don’t know who that is –“

“You knew him well enough to sleep with him.”

“Don’t start getting overprotective now, Dad, he’s –“

”Evil,” said the Doctor.

"He's a Time Lord."

"Exactly. As much as I hated having to leave Gallifrey, I had to do it. The Time Lords are corrupt, cut off from the rest of the universe and left to make their judgements. The Master is the very worst of them, hungry for entitlement and power --"

"But it's our race --"

"My race," said the Doctor.

"Don't do that! I have your physiology, I am like you --"

"I thought you were dead."

"Time Lords don't die."

"Oh, yes they do," said the Doctor. "Even we die eventually."

"Would you let our race die off just because of him? Could you do that?" asked Jenny.

"No," said the Doctor, surprising himself. "I don't think I could. It's the Master, after all."

"What do you mean by that?"

_"We can't do that by ourselves, Doctor," said the Master. "Two men. The laws of physics could never work that way, even if we are Time Lords…"_

"We've known each other," said the Doctor, "well."

"How well?"

"Well enough to know what he's capable of. We're old enemies, the Master and I…"

"Is that all you are?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Jenny grinned at him. "The way you talk about him… like he's special."

"He's my equal."

"And no one else is?"

"Well, no," said the Doctor. "No offence." He cast a weighted expression on her. "How far in are you?"

"Six weeks."

_He fixed Rose with a look of shock, looking between Jackie and Rose. "You said it was Jackie's!"_

_"I lied," said Rose._

_"W-why?" he cried._

_"I couldn't tell you. That look on your face, like your whole world was crashing down. It was too much. Losing me was too much, never mind a baby…"_

_"Where is it?" asked the Doctor._

_"I left it on the other side, with dad."_

_"You - you were… you were crossing the worlds to be with me. You wanted to be with me. Why not take the baby then?"_

_"It was too dangerous. Our lives together were far too dangerous to bring a baby into. I felt bad, but I couldn't deal with the idea that I could never see you again. I told you what I decided. I stand by that decision."_

_"No," said the Doctor. "I can't, I just can't. You can't stay with me, Rose, you just can't. Not with a…"_

_"But I love you!"_

_"I know," said the Doctor. "I do too, but… it's not right. What kind of father would I be… if I just let you abandon him?"_

_"He's Time Lord --" said Jackie._

_"What?" said the Doctor, turning to her._

_"Had an extra heart. There were complications."_

_"What complications?"_

_"Almost had to C-section," she said. "God, it was awful seeing Rose go through all that. But it only made her more determined."_

_The Doctor turned back to Rose. "God, you've been through so much… while I've been gone."_

_She nodded. "I know."_

_"Which is why you deserve so much more."_

It was too similar, far too similar. It may not have happened straight away, but it happened. He'd had to send her away again to Bad Wolf Bay. He had given her a parting gift.

But Jenny… his own daughter… What did she deserve?

"The Master…" said the Doctor. "He's gotten to me again."

"He's not here now," said Jenny, "He won't raise it. We have a chance here, dad. We can rebirth the Time Lords. Maybe not the way you've always wanted, but you can raise him the way you taught me --"

"What was the Master doing there?" asked the Doctor.

"What?"

"That blue box. That was my TARDIS. How could he have had it, unless…" He gasped, his eyes going comically wide. "No…" he said. "He didn't just go to London in it, he didn't just go back to become Saxon… He went forward and found you! Oh, where else has the Master been with my TARDIS? How far has he gone?"

"Dad?" said Jenny. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes…" said the Doctor. "Yes, yes, of course. My chance, my final chance to…"

Finally, he looked at her, the thought finally occurring to him. "I've never done that before. Gone fully domestic, like a normal person. My life, you see, Jenny… It's far too unstable for a child… How could I…?"

"You have to!" cried Jenny. "He's your grandson! And I'm your daughter! You were going to let me onto the TARDIS before… Why can't you now? Would you really take this out on me?"

"No…" said the Doctor, "no, of course not… It's just… I don't quite have a good history with this stuff… I had a granddaughter once. I locked her out of the TARDIS, for her own good. I abandoned her."

"You're about to repeat the same mistake," said Jenny.

"That's just it…" said the Doctor. "I'm not sure it was a mistake. She was bound to me. I knew she would've had such a better life if she could just let me go. So I made that decision for her…"

"Is that what you're doing now? Do you really think I would have a better life out there on my own?"

The Doctor stared at her, his eyes distant. "No."

The Time Lords… The Master… Did he really have a right to cast them out? He thought of where Susan must be now… dead. He had almost lost Jenny, too.

"I've never thought I could settle. I know somewhere you could be safe to raise him. I'll visit as often as I can, I'll raise him. It's not much, but it's the best I can do. I'll be there for you both, I promise. But there's something I need to settle. Something between me and the Master…"

5.

_One two three four. The beating of the drums._

_The Doctor gasped, throwing himself back from the Master, staring in horror. It was real now, really real..._

_The Master grabbed his face and kissed him._

The Doctor pulled himself out of his daydream. No, that never happened… But a part of him had wanted it. Now he couldn’t even shake his head. He was strapped down to the hilt, and there stood the Master, as cold as ice. His body buzzed with want. It was almost like a kink.

“You could be so beautiful…” said the Doctor.

But that’s not what he meant. What he really meant was, “You could be like me.” And it wouldn’t end the drumming. Nothing would.

_“Are you saying you could love me?”_

_“Yes,” said the Doctor. “Yes… yes, oh god yes…”_

_“If I was like you?”_

_“Oh no,” said the Doctor, “no, please don’t think that, no… I love you, just the way you are. I… the drumming… it doesn’t have to mean…”_

_“But it does,” said the Master. “It does…”_

Yet he was, in the end. He was so beautiful.

“Get out of the way.”

And in a haze of white, they were all gone… the Master and the Time Lords… back to the Time War… locked away again, never to return.

_One two three four. One two three four._

_The Master collapsed on the other side, down before the President on Gallifrey. His energy was burned up; he was burning._

_The heartbeat came through his chest, the sound louder in his head than ever before. “I’m a Time Lord… Time Lord… Time… Lord… two hearts… two hearts, and I still… I can feel as much as ever before…” He glared up at the President from the red carpet. “I am like him. And I love him. And I can never see him again. I always did…”_

_The President glared down at the Master, raising his gauntlet. "This is time…" he said._

_"Because anyone with two hearts must be as evil as me…" said the Master._

The Doctor walked over towards the machine, the one he had shot, and revealed the last white point star. He picked it up, sensing something off it, sensing vibrations as he held it in his hand, and used the sonic on it.

The readings he picked up off it, his last connection to the Master, but also to the Time Lords, was coming through. He sensed Gallifrey.

He knew it was probably a mistake. If he chose to remember the Master the same way he had the Time Lords, would it be worth it? If he chose to think of the Master fondly, as if he were some noble hero instead of a greedy madman, what would he become? What would the Master become in his mind, or the Time Lords?

Well, even after all these years, he never really forgot what the Time Lords had become right up until he'd been forced to remember. Yet even now as he stood there, Wilfred staring at him in confusion, he looked down at the diamond and the souvenir was enough to fill his heart with all those memories, both of Gallifrey and the Master, of everything they had ever gone through their lives, and he couldn't leave it there.

A genuine Gallifrey star. He would take it on the TARDIS, but never would he ever use it again. He couldn't.

_“You won’t end me,” said the Master. “I know you can. But you need me! Look around. Hell. Chaos,” the Master grinned. “The Time War. You need me.”_

_“Because that was always your limit, wasn’t it, Lord Master?” said the President. “He could never murder, and you could never die. No wonder you were made for each other.”_

_“What do you mean?” demanded the Master._

_“In the end, were you really so different? The light and the dark…”_

_“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?”_

_“There’s a reason we once chose you to champion us instead of him,” said the President. “Next to the Lord Doctor, you were just as good. No wonder you shared your childhood with him. You’re the same. But you were a coward. The only difference is that he kept fighting. And you… are worse than pathetic.”_

_“So I was nothing but second best!” shot the Master. “I’m the insane one!”_

_“You are both insane! It’s only because of the Doctor’s pets –“ said the President, “that he’s any better than you!”_

_“Kill me then!” cried the Master, his eyes full with everything that had happened. “Go ahead! Because maybe we are mad… but maybe you’re the mad ones! He said I was beautiful! Maybe I am! And what does that make you? Knowing the Doctor after all these years, I know how he mourned you… with stupid love in his heart, but me? I think of you only with hate! Even when I brought you back… it was for my own glory, not yours! And how could I ever love you with everything you’ve ever done to me my whole life! No… I hate you… with every fibre of my being. And I would love to die for that.”_

_“So you are capable of self-sacrifice,” said the President. “Then I will obey your oldest wish… You will live, Lord Master, and one day… you will save Gallifrey! And don’t act like you don’t want that, because we both know you will always choose to live…”_

_“Never.”_

_“Guards, take him.” The guards appeared on either side of the Master, hauling him up. “I think you’ll find,” said the President, “that our journey together will bring you all the glory you need…”_

_There was a hunger in the Master’s eyes, but he wasn’t convinced. “I’ll find my own glory when we’re done here!”_

_With that final word, the Master was hauled away to his cell._

The Doctor stared at the white point star in his hands, as he stood in the middle of the TARDIS’s control room. Everything, the Master had become everything to him in the short time of the Master Race. It had been so wrong… the Doctor wanted to tell him… everyone he had ever loved had become the Master.

Maybe they always were. Maybe Earth was only ever a reflection of where he'd come from.

His whole lives, at the mercy of the Master, the Time Lords, the Rani… of all of Gallifrey. Everything he had ever run from or defeated. He had come to Earth at the start of it all, and Earth had always been everything to him that he felt Gallifrey should be, never mind the endless wars…

Perhaps Earth was everything Gallifrey once was. Perhaps the reason he protected it so vitally was because Earth was the one planet with the potential to grow fonder than Gallifrey, to rise above them someday, if he could only step in and make it happen…

The Master didn’t understand that. He was corrupted, every bit the product of Gallifrey as any other Time Lord that had ever gone bad.

The Doctor put down the stone into the setting he’d made for it while he’d been traveling around, saying goodbye to everybody he’d ever loved here in the modern age. Everyone he’d saved, being given back their individuality. How could he ever think they could be the Master? Maybe it was the fear… but the Doctor knew it wasn’t. There was something more between him and the Master, through all these years…

It was the love. The love he stupidly felt for such a man, even one as corrupt as the Master was the Doctor’s equal. The Master Race had been the ultimate embodiment of his heartbreak over the Master. He could’ve been so much more…

In the end, maybe he was.

He was dying now, really dying. There was only one person left to visit, the only one besides the Master that ever really mattered. Rose.

+1.

_Yana. You are not alone._

He had been so nice. The Doctor wondered now whether Yana had been evil beneath it all, but even that suggestion fell weak. He remembered what the Master used to be like on Gallifrey, before all this, under the shadows of Mount Perdition... before they were Time Lords.

Rolling around in the hay... The Master settled on top of the Doctor, the red grass rising up around them in his father's fields. The Master trapped the Doctor on the ground with hands on either side of his head, grinning down above him.

"No one will find us here. We're all alone."

"Just like we should be," smiled the Doctor. Both his hearts were beating so hard, and not just because they'd been running. The love he felt for this man was running through both of his hearts. The Master could feel it too, he had to. "What should we do?"

The Master grinned even wider. "Wouldn't you like to know?" he said. And he lowered himself down upon the Doctor and kissed him. The Doctor kissed back passionately, thrills lighting his nerves.

"I will never kiss another's lips," he told the Master, "not in all of time and space, not even when we're both proper Time Lords. In all of that, nothing can outshine this. You and me..."

But he had. Oh, no matter what he'd felt back then for the Master, all his little dreams had come to nothing in the end. The Master had cheated his way through and become a Time Lord long before the Doctor had. He'd turned out to be evil, and after all he'd ever seen, the Doctor couldn't.

They'd had names back then, but soon events on Gallifrey would lead them to change, both for the Doctor and the Master.

Even now, the Doctor swore his naiveté. He had been content though, back then, just as Yana might have been now. He'd felt no grand ambitions. Although the concept of power drew at him, it was with a resigned air.

But the Master was nothing but extreme; when he found out what he was capable of, it did something to him... it corrupted.

The Master had been there when it came time for the Doctor to escape Gallifrey. It was far from the peaceful race that it once felt like they were in those fields. First it had been the Master to betray the Time Lords, and now it was the Doctor.

There was a shared history even in that. But the Doctor was an old man now, regenerated into his first unique form. It wasn't a coincidence; he felt very old after everything that had happened. And with his granddaughter, no less.

Yet the Master was here now. It was him that gave them that chance to escape. In his shock, the Doctor almost called him by his real name before the Master interrupted him. "It's the Master now --"

His eyes widened at the prospect. "The Master?"

Those years in the Master's fields was so many years before they first met as official Time Lords. The Doctor was shocked to find what he'd become. Somehow, he'd had to swallow those feelings, and he thought he had, very well. He recognised the Master only by name.

"I'm going to own this place, all of it," the Master told him. "By conquering the universe that they meddle with so easily. I'm a Time Lord now, I have that power and that right. Will you join me?"

"I can't," said the Doctor, "I won't. I'm the Doctor."

"Even after everything they've done to you?"

"Even after that."

"Then run," he said. "I have my own business to settle with them... get out while you still can."

The Doctor didn't have to be told twice. He ran.


End file.
